The Alaskan Accent

Recently I heard on national news (I forget the exact venue) a comment on Sarah Palin's "Alaskan accent". Well today, ladies and gentlemen, instead of addressing something seemingly important like recent politics or economics, I write to tell you quite strongly:

Sarah Palin does not have an Alaskan accent.

She has a crazy accent. I have no clue from whence such a thing sprang, but it was certainly not based upon the civilized language of upstanding Alaskans. I will indeed confirm that there is something of an Alaskan accent. I have been told I have one. Occasionally I will realize after I've said something that the way I pronounce some things really doesn't line up with habitual vowel sounds of the English language, as messed up as they are. Sarah Palin, however, sounds nothing like me. In fact, she sounds like no one that I know, either in or out of Alaska or anywhere on this planet.

If only there was something to call that way in which dear Sarah speaks. I would say "what's in a name" but I think Palin-talk by another name might smell a bit sweeter- or at least make more sense. Perhaps our governor's oddity is a feature of South-Central Alaska, a mysterious place I have regularly viewed with distrust- besides Anchorage, that is. More likely I think, however, is that this thing is some result of Mrs. Palin's time spent attending college in Idaho. Said state is even more unknown to me than South-Central. The only time I've been there was when my family drove through it and we got more bugs on our car than memorable experiences there. Who knows what dialects Idaho could spawn?

My ramblings here are in jest, of course, but I honestly would not like the speech patterns of my dear state defined by Sarah Palin. The Alaskan Accent would be an amazing thing to discover. (I am unqualified to find it, seeing as I just call it English.) The elusive AA, however, certainly will not be found in any national stump speeches this election season.